Finally, Total Forgiveness
Matthew 6:14, 15 "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses"
- We bank everything on God’s love and forgiveness to the point that we believe it to be readily and instantly extended to us. Seldom do we recall the conditions for the forgiveness of God.
- According to this text, every time we forgive, we are forgiven.
- What we do on earth, God does in Heaven. We accept and enjoy that when it comes to exercising the rights and enjoying the privileges of spiritual power of: "Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." (Matthew 18:18)
- When we do something on earth, something is done in Heaven. God responds.
- Remember that we all have an account
- Therefore we must do something we want God to respond to.
- If you feel that you need forgiveness, search your heart for any ill will you could possibly harbor towards anyone and—dismiss it. As you forgive, you are positioned to be forgiven.
- Don’t be so quick to believe God will forgive you. He is quick to forgive the people who are also quick to forgive others. God does not automatically forgive, as we are led to think.
"People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." - Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom
Luke 18:10-14 "Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted."
- If we want to totally forgive someone, we need to resist the tendency to justification and compare our offence to the one of the person who is offending us.
- When we stop lessening our offence by comparing what we have done to what our enemy has done to us, we will be less offended by what was done to us.
- Most of the time we have “a nickel in the quarter” even though 20 cents of the offence is the fault of the other party. As long as we rehearse the fact that they did more to us than we did to them, we will be able to justify not forgiving them.
- Your prayer (like the Pharisee here) should never contain your goodness, since none of us are good anyway.
Luke 18:19 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? none is good, save one, that is, God.
- There was no petition, thanksgiving or anything in the Pharisee’s prayer, just comparison—but he so audaciously told it to a God who knew everything. Who are we to tell God how good we are? Even the best of us should know that: "But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags." (Isaiah 64:6) and "If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?" (Psalm 130:3)
- People who don’t forgive others are always thinking to themselves or talking about how much better or righteous they are than the other person. That is the only way they can retain the pride that keeps them from forgiving. Pride is the deterrent to forgiveness.
- The strength of unforgiveness is the high opinion the unforgiving person has of themselves—compared to lower opinion the person they are refusing/cannot seem to forgive. If someone takes issue with the about not forgiving, they will say like the publican, “The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are…” (Luke 18:11)
- One has to have a reason not to forgive, just as one has to have a reason to forgive.
- When we truly believe that "But by the grace of God I am what I am:” (1 Corinthians 15:10) our attitude will change toward other people.
- To forgive we must critically look at ourselves. If there is the least imperfection, we should know that we are unjustified to harbor ill will.
- Instead of heightening our righteousness and celebrating our rightness, it is best that we discredit or understate ourselves. It will change the way we feel about others and—the way God feels about us.
- All of us could say good things about ourselves, but why not remind yourself of what you are not occasionally? That opens the door to improvement of yourself.
- In the eyes of a perfect God, all sin is heinous and despicable.
Consider the good that you will enjoy if you forgive.
Consider the bad that is certain to be yours if you do not forgive.
To forgive
Make a conscious effort not to tell what your offender has done to you.
Proverbs 10:12 "Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins."
- Love is not quick to expose a person’s misdeeds—and most especially if they have repented for them.
- Hatred keeps it going.
- Joseph wanted his brethren to look good.
- If exposing someone benefits us and hurts them, we are getting our vengeance in a different way.
Proverbs 17:9 "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends."
- The person who offended you desperately needs love. The more people we turn against them, the less love they will find.
Be pleasant to them when you are around them.
Ephesians 4:31, 32 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
- Work the anger out.
- Be pleasant, not just civil.
- Imitate God so that this pleasantness becomes your new demeanor.
If you end up in a conversation, do something to ease their guilt.
Genesis 50:19 "And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?"
- If you enjoy seeing them beat themselves us, you are still adding to their grief and prolonging your displeasure.
- Assure them that you will not hurt them in return for what they did to you.
- Take fearing you out of their minds.
Make certain that the debt for what they have done will never resurface on your account.
Acts 7:60 "And he kneeled down, and cried with a loud voice, Lord, lay not this sin to their charge. And when he had said this, he fell asleep. "
- You will intercede for them and do your best to free them from judgment
See the goodness that is yours beyond the moment of pain
Acts 7:55, 56 "But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God, And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God."
- Let it motivate you.
- See good even before you encounter bad and know that good will even come again after bad has done its damage.
Pray for them regularly.
This paper was inspired by the book written by Rev. R.T. Kendall.